The Ugly Pregnancy Hormone Monster - 30 weeks

The pregnancy hormone monster is alive and well inside of me. It snaps at my son and screams at my husband and makes me hate being pregnant and wants to rip off the heads of all the customers at the bar I work at.

Oh my.

I woke up in such a sour mood the other morning, I couldn't stand myself. I hated everything and everyone and was just too cranky to do anything. I could have spent the day brooding but instead, I decided to write a list of all the things I was grateful for that day:

• a sunny but mild day
• a job
• friends to have dinner with
• a loving and forgiving husband
• a friendly dog
• gas in my truck
• food in my refridgerator
• a baby to raise to know God
• the ability to put Evan in vacation Bible school
• clean laundry to fold
• a roof over my head
• my Joyce Meyer book
• parents who love me
• my sister's safe return from Africa
• a sense of humor
• the ability to admit when I'm wrong
• little kicks that let me know our baby is okay
• upcoming parties to share with friends and family members
• an ever-growing relationship with God
• pictures in my notebook that Evan has drawn for me
• my education
• bright smiling flowers in my yard
• my yard
• my likeable personality
• knowing (basically) what I want my career to be
• sweet, fresh fruit
• my son telling me he loves me
• putting on minimal weight this pregnancy
• maternity clothes

Considering my horrible mood, I thought this was a pretty good list. And you know what? It really turned my day around. Instead of thinking about how cranky I was and how big I'm getting, I thought about my son asking me for a hug and kiss and saying, "I love you, Mommy."  I could almost feel those sweet little lips on my cheek and that cute little voice in my ear. It was a really effective way to snap me back to reality.

Anyway.

I'm now at 30 weeks. I've put on a grand total of 7 lbs. (I actually cried in the doctor's office on Monday at this news. I had gained 4.5 lbs since my last appointment. My doctor pointed out that my last appointment was 4 and a half weeks ago...) The baby's heartbeat was a strong and steady 145. My uterus is measuring right on. Everything looks good.

I suppose the stress of changing everything doesn't help anything. I'm looking for a baby sitter for next fall. I'm quitting my bartending job. I'm trying to make sure that I will be subbing next year. I've got major plans for rearranging the house to make room for the baby--moving things out of the living room to make room for a swing and/or pack and play, rearranging the hall closet so that Evan's clothes and toys and the baby's clothes and toys will fit, moving a dresser or two and a standing mirror out of our bedroom to put the crib in our room, and eventually, we are putting a twin loft bed in Evan's room. We already have it but we have to get him a mattress. Aaron and I have agreed that there's no rush right now, and we both think the longer we wait, the better. I'm planning a couples baby shower and Evan's birthday party, both to take place in June. Then there's my ever-changing body. No wonder I'm crazy right now.

Have I mentioned how tired I am? Yes, I'm quite tired. I think I'm going back to bed until Evan gets home from school now.