Evan's playdate

Tuesday I didn't substitute. Evan had daycare and then a therapy session. I happened to know that his uncle and three cousins (all under the age of 3) on his dad's side were home that day. I suggested to Aaron that we all get together because it might be fun.

The cousins had never been to our house before, so I really didn't know what to expect. The only real face time I'd had with the boys was when the twins were newborns. Turns out I had nothing to worry about.

All of the boys had a great time, and I had a lot of fun getting to know Evan's cousins. They've been collectively known as "the boys" so I've always grouped them together, but they really are little people with very different personalities. It was neat to see what characteristics they shared with my son, too.

It should be mentioned that the ratio of adults to toddlers was 3:4, though it felt more like 3:500.  All of the boys had drippy noses and lots of energy. I used to think that Evan's aunt and uncle were nuts for having that many kids so close together. I still think that. That definitely wouldn't have been my idea of fun. But I do have a newfound respect for their chaos management and how they must handle their daily lives.

Shopping! 22 weeks

When I was pregnant with Evan, there was no shortage of shopping for myself or a new baby. I remember spending ENTIRE days in front of the computer or in the local Target, Shopko, Kmart and Walmart and department stores. Some days I spent way too much, and some days I only picked up a t-shirt, but it seemed like there were tons of things to buy!

I'm not excited to buy maternity clothes, but I'm older, have a more stable income and a husband who's reasonable and willing to spend a little money to ensure my comfort over the summer. I mean, it's shopping. It's stupid, but it makes me happy.

So we went to the Old Navy in Duluth because I had remembered them having particularly flattering clothes that I couldn't afford with my first child. No maternity clothes anywhere. Evan picked out a couple of cute striped polo shirts and argyle socks on his own, and Aaron picked up a few things too. I gave up, hating to ask for help, and casually asked the cashier if they had gotten rid of their maternity department. She looked at me like I was completely stupid and stated that they had gotten rid of the maternity department a few years ago. I returned her dirty look, gestured to my son, apologized and told her it had been a few years since I had needed to buy maternity clothes. Sheesh!

Pretty soon I began to notice that none of the local stores were carrying maternity clothes. No, I take that back. Kohl's and Target carry a very limited number of maternity clothes, all of which are black or grey and not my size. I called around and discovered that the majority of stores are no longer carrying maternity clothes in their stores but I'm certainly welcome to order from their website!

Okay, at this point I'm feeling frustrated. Half the fun of shopping is leaving my house. I like to feel the texture and quality of the fabric before I purchase, not to mention ensure sizing by trying on. Obviously, that was out and online shopping was in.

Aaron and I set a budget, talked about what I'm going to need based on when I'll be the biggest, and I started shopping.

I'm only bartending this summer. I declined to substitute because Evan will be getting more therapy hours and I'm going to be miserable. I decided that if I was going to be big and miserable, I could at least have a sense of humor about it. So I made the following purchase:


This shirt is funny because it's true. Polka Dot is a honeymoon baby. And in general, it's just kind of funny.

I did get a couple of nice, dressy shirts to wear to church. I also bought a couple of shirts that will just look nice but casual. We invested in a bathing suit for me and a few pairs of shorts. (I still fit in my dress pants and a few pairs of jeans but have jeans from when I was pregnant with my first.)

Things that make me giggle.

Video clips of Polka Dot

I hate to post more than twice a week, but seeing as how I'm home today, I wanted to get these videos posted!

Very active baby!

Rolling over

Playing with hands

Moving hands and legs

More hands

21 weeks and a trip to northern Wisconsin

I'm nearly 22 weeks now. No weight gain--I actually lost another 2 lbs again at my last appointment--but my doctor isn't worried and he said the baby's heartbeat is good and the ultrasound pictures look really good. Yay! Even though I'm not gaining weight, I am starting to push out a bit in the front. Last week several elementary school students congratulated me on having a baby.

Now it should be stated before I get too far that I have the weirdest family situation ever. (That's what my husband says, at least.) When I was 3, my parents split-up. My dad and his long-term girlfriend--who for all intents and purposes I've always called a parent--never married. Then they split up shortly before my son was born. My step-mom remarried this past summer. Confused yet? Good! Okay, here we go!

We spent the last weekend in Lake Nebagamon with my step-mom and her new husband in the home I'd grown up in. We had a great weekend!

Evan woke up Friday morning not knowing where we were. (We got there at about 1 am Friday morning. He had slept most of the way in the car.) Once we introduced Laura and Tim and their golden retriever Cooper, Evan found a spot in my brother's old room to calm his nerves and get it together.

It didn't take Evan long to warm up to Laura or Tim. They're both really good with kids and know how to make him laugh. Lots of wrestling, playing, pillow fights and laughter.

Both Laura and Tim are volunteer firefighters and decided to show Evan the fire trucks at their local station and he had a lot of fun with that!

I can't believe this picture! Evan let Tim pick up and put him ON TOP of the firetruck AND he's SMILING!!!

I think we may have a future firefighter.

He liked pretending to drive with Nana.

My brother Jonathan, Nana and Evan. Evan is a little upset in this photo. He kept saying "It doesn't fit!"

Ultrasound at 20 weeks

It's been a little while since I've posted, but that's only because I've been happy! Don't get me wrong--I still don't enjoy pregnancy. That whole watch what I'm eating, drinking, putting in my body, getting bigger, and beginning to swell thing still really stinks. On top of that, there's the whole financial thing. It would have been really cool to substitute over the summer, and we're going to need the money.

But when my husband sweetly smiles and I can see love in his eyes, somehow none of those things seem to matter as much.

Monday, March 14, we had our one and only ultrasound. Baby looks healthy and only measures a few days off from my due date.

I knew what to expect at this appointment. After all, this is my second (and last) time through. Aaron, however, didn't really know what was going to happen except that he'd get to see a fuzzy picture of what is our developing baby.

When the baby was moving and grabbing at his/her feet, rolling around, and got the clean bill of health from the tech, this huge grin spread across his face. He is absolutely and completely in love.

And it's hard to be upset when my husband is so happy and in love.

A New Eddie

So much has changed since my last post nearly two weeks ago.

It was very hard to let my dear Millie go, but it really was time. For a few days I felt as if there was a giant hole in my chest and was about to fall apart completely, but I never did. Somehow I began to heal up and feel whole again.

I think that healing was due in large part to our remaining beagle Eddie. Because of Millie's age and inability to control her bladder, Millie and Eddie had been living in our very large laundry room with lots of outside time and occasional time in the home--limited and highly supervised time in the home. My husband and I had to mop up Millie's messes daily. The cleaning took up to an hour and we spent a lot of money on gloves, cleaning detergents, swiffer pads, training pads, and paper towel. When Millie passed, Aaron and I agreed that Eddie should spend more time in the home. After a few too many beers one night, Aaron made the decision that Eddie should no longer sleep in the laundry room but in our home--specifically, in our bed.

Beagles are generally not aggressive dogs, but my beagles have been particularly sweet. I had forgotten just how sweet and affectionate they were.

Eddie has lost his best friend. I got him as a pup and Millie acted as surrogate. He always looked to her for comfort and affection, and she tolerated him snuggling up to her and tagging along. I think he's been in a bit of a mourning period, just as I have been. I think we are getting through this together. Since her passing, he has been my shadow in the house. He watches me do dishes from a corner of the living room couch and sleeps tight up against my side each night.

My little Millie girl

Millie
July 9, 1997 – March 3, 2011

My mom, my brother Mike, and I adopted Millie from the humane society on July 9, 1998. She was a favorite of the workers and volunteers because of her sweet disposition and adorable face.  She had been found wandering along the side of the road and had already been transferred from another shelter because no one had wanted to adopt her. We thought she was perfect! She was small, pretty, attentive, and quiet.

It only took a few days for our family to realize that Millie had several issues and severe separation anxiety. She had not been housebroken, had been abused by her previous owners—she still has a b. b. bullet in her ear and in her rib cage—and destroyed the house whenever we left. She was quiet because someone had obviously beaten the bark out of her and hit the floor whenever anyone talked above a whisper or raised their arm. This was more than my mom was willing to handle, and she called the humane society about bringing her back. They said they would have to euthanize her. I pleaded for Millie’s life, and my mom let her stay.

She quickly became my dog—I often walked her or took her to the dog park in Appleton, she slept with me, and I was the person she looked for whenever the door opened. Millie’s condition improved with medication, training, and age.

Millie was not a good dog in that she was a slave to her nose. She couldn’t be unleashed without taking off for hours. She had terrible table manners. No one ever fully trusted her on carpeting. Dog training classes were completely lost on her. We had to build a wooden cabinet to keep her out of the garbage.

Millie was a good dog in that she was always friendly, rarely barked, and always came back home. She never so much as snipped at my toddler son in his entire life. Someone was able, with an enormous number of treats, to teach her to roll over and to shake. She never chewed furniture or shoes or anything else a dog isn’t supposed to chew on. She acted as surrogate mother for our cats Bryce and Maddy and even helped Maddy raise her kittens. Our beagle Eddie adored her and she graciously tolerated him. She fought cancer and won.  She was gentle and loving. When I was 18, she repaid her debt to my mom and saved my life. I literally would not be here today were it not for Millie.

Though it breaks my heart, Millie’s time has come. She no longer got up to greet me. She lost control of her bladder and there was blood in her urine, and her fur was beginning to fall out. In my selfishness, I neglected the fact that my little girl was in pain for far too long. At approximately 3:30 yesterday afternoon, I let my little girl go.

A special thank you to my mom for the financial funding to give Millie the best possible end. Thank you, Mom. Without it, I’m not sure I would have had closure. She went gracefully and humanely.