The Ugly Pregnancy Hormone Monster - 30 weeks

The pregnancy hormone monster is alive and well inside of me. It snaps at my son and screams at my husband and makes me hate being pregnant and wants to rip off the heads of all the customers at the bar I work at.

Oh my.

I woke up in such a sour mood the other morning, I couldn't stand myself. I hated everything and everyone and was just too cranky to do anything. I could have spent the day brooding but instead, I decided to write a list of all the things I was grateful for that day:

• a sunny but mild day
• a job
• friends to have dinner with
• a loving and forgiving husband
• a friendly dog
• gas in my truck
• food in my refridgerator
• a baby to raise to know God
• the ability to put Evan in vacation Bible school
• clean laundry to fold
• a roof over my head
• my Joyce Meyer book
• parents who love me
• my sister's safe return from Africa
• a sense of humor
• the ability to admit when I'm wrong
• little kicks that let me know our baby is okay
• upcoming parties to share with friends and family members
• an ever-growing relationship with God
• pictures in my notebook that Evan has drawn for me
• my education
• bright smiling flowers in my yard
• my yard
• my likeable personality
• knowing (basically) what I want my career to be
• sweet, fresh fruit
• my son telling me he loves me
• putting on minimal weight this pregnancy
• maternity clothes

Considering my horrible mood, I thought this was a pretty good list. And you know what? It really turned my day around. Instead of thinking about how cranky I was and how big I'm getting, I thought about my son asking me for a hug and kiss and saying, "I love you, Mommy."  I could almost feel those sweet little lips on my cheek and that cute little voice in my ear. It was a really effective way to snap me back to reality.

Anyway.

I'm now at 30 weeks. I've put on a grand total of 7 lbs. (I actually cried in the doctor's office on Monday at this news. I had gained 4.5 lbs since my last appointment. My doctor pointed out that my last appointment was 4 and a half weeks ago...) The baby's heartbeat was a strong and steady 145. My uterus is measuring right on. Everything looks good.

I suppose the stress of changing everything doesn't help anything. I'm looking for a baby sitter for next fall. I'm quitting my bartending job. I'm trying to make sure that I will be subbing next year. I've got major plans for rearranging the house to make room for the baby--moving things out of the living room to make room for a swing and/or pack and play, rearranging the hall closet so that Evan's clothes and toys and the baby's clothes and toys will fit, moving a dresser or two and a standing mirror out of our bedroom to put the crib in our room, and eventually, we are putting a twin loft bed in Evan's room. We already have it but we have to get him a mattress. Aaron and I have agreed that there's no rush right now, and we both think the longer we wait, the better. I'm planning a couples baby shower and Evan's birthday party, both to take place in June. Then there's my ever-changing body. No wonder I'm crazy right now.

Have I mentioned how tired I am? Yes, I'm quite tired. I think I'm going back to bed until Evan gets home from school now.

Evan Flies a Kite

My mom taught me to fly a kite when I was little. Two weeks ago--I'm just getting the video up now!--I taught Evan. Or rather, I handed him the string and he took it from there.

I just feel like this is one of the moments that makes all the miseries of motherhood worth everything.

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

I'm quitting my job.
No, not my substituting job. My bartending job.
That's right.
No more gross, dirty, disgusting old men who make me feel ashamed to be young or married.
No more bitchy women who think they own this town.
No more jerks who think they own the tavern.
No more $1 tips for serving the same couple after making sure they have a drink every time the empty glass hits the bar for the last 8 hours.
No more.
No more.
No more.
No more sleeping in on Monday mornings because I'm too tired from bartending 30 hours over the last weekend.
No more minimum wage.
No more turning down sub jobs on Fridays because I am already putting in 9.5 hours bartending and can't bare the thought of putting in another 8 before I go in for the night.
No more wasting my college degree and certification.
No more weekends away from my husband and son.
No more temptation to drink and act completely ridiculous.
Ugh.
I'm done bartending in July.
It feels good.
No--it feels great.
Of course this means a whole new slew of problems.
I have to find a daycare or babysitter for Evan. And the new baby.
I have to find something we can afford.
I have to accept crappy sub jobs.
But I get to use my degree and teach and be in a classroom and have my family at night.
Relief and bliss.

The First Week in May! - 28 Weeks

This was taken last Saturday night. It's my pup Eddie. I was given a body pillow by a friend, but Eddie is convinced that it belongs to him. How can I argue?

And this is Baby Kitty, also known as Blind Kitty. We got him last August as an approximately 6 week old kitten and have yet to name him. He's completely blind but has certainly honed his other senses and gets around just fine. We've tried several names--Seymour, Seven, Leo, Gnocchi, Toki, Sullivan, and Keller--none of which seem to fit. He's also a real jerk--biting, clawing, slapping--for no apparent reason and goes on many time outs. I think he's just going to go nameless. On the rare occasion that he's behaving and looking lovely, I try to get his picture.

Ah! The long awaited baby shower invitations! I'm planning a baby shower for Aaron and I at a local park. We're inviting other couples and families. I ordered 50 invitations, but we're both feeling like there are people we left out. Maybe I'll make a Facebook event next week for those that we missed. Or make copies and hand those out. I'm actually excited about this. We created a registry at Target, and it was so fun to watch Aaron! I told him what we would need and encouraged him to pick out designs. For example, I said, "Baby, we're gonna need some crib sheets. Why don't you pick out 4 or 5?" And he happily zapped away, looking for what he considered the cutest looking sheets. 

I'm not sure if you can tell, but the invitations are a light orange with polka dots. I liked the blue ribbon on the invitation and decided to make the colors blue and orange. (I've nevere cared for pink much anyway.) I bought light blue and solid orange table cloths and found great polka dot-covered plates and napkins at Hobby Lobby. The menu is light and simple: cheese, sausage and crackers, chips, fruit and veggies, and an assortment of desserts, as well as beer, water, juice and soda. We'll decorate onesies and diapers and have baby name suggestion boxes. I thought those were good activities that men and women could have fun with. And worse comes to worse, the guys make a subgroup and eat all the food and drink all the beer. It's important for me to do this with Aaron. I want him to share the anxiety and skip the awkward shower games.

"Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes! Boy or girl? Nobody knows!"

I also ordered invitations for Evan's 4th birthday party. I'm planning a casual two hour party at my house. We'll set up the sprinkler and kiddy pool, we have the swingset in the backyard, and I'm playing with the idea of setting up my 6 foot tall camping tent and filling it with balloons for the kids to go nuts in. I'm not even going to try to do a meal. Evan is asking for an icecream pizza, which according to Umizoomi is a giant cookie with ice cream and sprinkles on top. We'll do some sort of dessert, gift opening, playing, and I'll send the kiddies home with some goofy cups or some little toy but non-food item.

"It's time to tumble! It's time to play! It's time to celebrate Evan's 4th birthday!"



 Aaron and I had dinner one night this week at Perkins while Evan was at his dad's house. I spotted sugar cookies with a lady bug design on them and had to get one for him. He enjoyed it very much.

Yesterday morning, I was cleaning out my lunch box. Evan found my rice cakes and nutella. He discovered the joy of my gluten-free snacking! He had four nutella covered rice cakes in all yesterday!

Mother's Day Card

Evan came home from school with a Mother's Day card for me. My first reaction was, "Aw! Cuuuuuuuttttteeeeeee!!!!!!"

Then I opened it up. 

And this is what it said...

 Apparently, they were filling out some sort of "Magnificent Mom" checklist. Look at the age. Yup, my son thinks I'm 15. I mean, sure. Why not? He's 3, and 15 is probably old to him.

And my favorite food is now apparently spaghetti.

All I can say is, thank goodness he told them I call him Evan. Booger would have looked bad to the teacher.



From there, I think it gets better.

I was pretty excited that Evan knew that my hair was blonde even though I wasn't present. I thought that was impressive.

But check out that last sentence.

"My mom is very hungry." My son chose the word "hungry" to complete that sentence....

..........................................................

I'm just speechless.

He finished by signing his name, which put a beat back in my heart after reading that I was very hungry.