To Induce or Not to Induce?

Here I am, four days past my due date. And it seems like everyone and their mother is asking, "So when is that baby coming?" It's getting harder for me to be good-natured with my response. After all, I don't like being pregnant. I'm not particularly good with babies--I'm certified to teach 6th through 12th grade, if that's any indication. And my anxiety level is through the roof! I'm talking insomnia, constant pacing, an unbelievable amount of baking, and clean, clean, clean!

I saw my doctor last Friday, and as far as baby is concerned, everything looks okay. S/he has a nice strong heartbeat, good fetal movement, and no indication of my placenta going bad. My cervix, on the other hand, is being less than cooperative. I really wasn't surprised by that because 1) my son was ten days late and my cervix was just as uncooperative and 2) they measured my cervix and 26 weeks via ultrasound and it's 7 cm long--the longest my doctor says he's ever measured. Then he dropped the "i" bomb. You know... induction.

At first I was relieved! I would get to pick my baby's birthday, arrange ahead of time for care for my son instead of just sending him to one of the three possibilities we had lined up, pack everything I wanted or needed to have instead of the items that I'm not going to miss, and make sure the house is in order before we leave. My doctor, as it happens, is leaving for a mission trip after today and he even said I could pick the doctor I wanted to perform my induction.

Then I started to think, "This doesn't feel right." I have the same doctor for this polka dot that I did with Evan. He let Evan go ten days late and wouldn't even discuss induction. What's changed? I don't like the thought of inducing because, to me, there is a certain amount of shame in it. Induction is not a natural birth. I had Evan naturally, and I'm glad I did. I have this vision of myself strapped to a bed with a Pitocin drip screaming for an epidural because movement is limited with an induction; induction is also said to be a generally harder and longer labor. Everyone I've talked to who has had an induction has had a pretty bad experience. Everyone is going to know I'm being induced which increases that whole friends-and-family-waiting-around-and-sending-texts-or-phone-calls-to-see-how-things-are-going thing. And did I mention I just really don't feel like it's the right thing to do?

Let me try to explain why I don't feel good about the induction. I don't know if you ever read or watch Joyce Meyer, but I love her. (She has a tv and radio program of her Christian ministry called "Enjoying Every Day Life" which has really made a difference in my life.) I've been slowly working my way through her book Enjoying Where You Are on the Way to Where You're Going. I've literally been working on this book since April. (It takes me a long time not because it's difficult but because I journal after every one or two pages about what she's saying or what I'm getting out of the reading.) I'm finally towards the end of the book and suddenly there is a section about waiting, and as it happens, she discusses how each of her four children were late and she felt that God was trying to teach her to be patient while she waited for the birth of each of her children. Coincidence? Or divine intervention? Because I've been a real hag through this whole pregnancy. I've hated my pregnancies more than what I would consider normal. (You all get to read the edited version. =) )

I pray a lot. I usually pray throughout the day. Sometimes it's a quick, "Hey, thanks, God! I really needed that kind comment from that kind person you've put in my life!" Sometimes it's an hour long discussion of me asking for the comfort and uplifting of people I know and love or sometimes even strangers. Well, I've been praying about this all weekend. "Lord, do I have the induction?" And I keep hearing, "Wait."

So. What do I do? The induction is scheduled. I see my doctor one last time today before he leaves for South America. I can ask about my options and hope that he'll discuss them with me. I need to know why we are doing an induction. I want to do what feels right and what God wants me to do.