For years I've been resentful that my parents weren't there when I competed in band, theatre, forensics, poms, cheer, and volleyball. I mean, all of my teammates' parents were there; where were mine? Parents of friends would "adopt" me, cheering me on, chauffering me around, and encouraging me on the sidelines. I remember being so angry that my own parents weren't there, weren't proud of me.
That said, I need to disclose that I had three younger siblings at home, one of whom has Cerebral Palsey. The age difference between the youngest child and me is nearly six years. My brother with CP needs constant care. To be fair, they really had their hands full!
Now that I have two children, I'm starting to understand everything a lot differently.
It's hard to keep up with multiple children. And maybe having children so far apart in age is actually more difficult than having children close together in age. Hops is potty-trained, wanting to play outside, wanting to interact, and go, go, go! Scout, on the other hand, is pretty content to eat and sleep. It's difficult to bring her outside, and I certainly wouldn't dare a trip to the beach this summer with her.
If Hops was 1 or 2, he might be more content to just play on the living room floor with me while Scout naps. Then again, he might not be sleeping through the night or may be less patient when demanding my attention. Still, I can't help but feel that it might be easier if the two were closer in age.
My parents were there for the important stuff. I think. They missed the year I was on prom court, the year my poms team competed at State, the year I was crowned Snow Queen, and various other events. But they were at graduation! (Still a bit of bitterness, I guess.)
Hops is so much more aware of the changes in our household than he might otherwise be. I can't help but wonder if he'll remember this time of transition and feel resentful. I just hope I can be there for him when he wants me to be.
I know how you feel, but it wasn't my sister that took my mom's attention. It was her day care kids. I often felt last on the list because of the other kids. She couldn't drive for school trips or other things. Luckily my best friend's mom was at home too, so she did all this and 'adopted' me too. That said, mom was always home when I needed her and could find a way to help when I needed it.
ReplyDeleteI have all her attention now. She moved up this way when I got married and my Ella is her pride and joy. Ella gets her undivided attention and it's a wonderful thing.
juggling children is the story of my life right now. It's definitely NOT easy. I have 3 children, with one more on the way. My oldest turned 3 in July, second turned 2 in June and my 3rd is 11 months old. I'm on the other end wondering if people who have children say 2 or more years apart have it easier. I'll never know that. I guess we all have our struggles no matter how old our babies are and the grass always seems greener in another Mama's yard!
ReplyDeleteI will say that it is nice that my girls (10 months apart) are in very similar development/interests stage and play (and fight!) very well together. There are definite perks to having them close, but it's constant work, exhaustion, guilty feelings sometimes, trying to be patient and feeling like they'll NEVER be able to function without constant help! Again, I think most parents would say the same thing! :)