Mommy Moments

I follow Aimee's Blog, and she follows Colleen's blog. Colleen invited moms to share their "real" mommy moments. Here are mine.


My Top 5 "bad" mommy moments

1) "Sure you can have cake for breakfast."
2) "DON'T BITE THE DOG OR I'M GOING TO BITE YOU!!!!"
3) "Put your freaking toys away or I'm throwing them in the trash!" And then I actually did put a few in the trash.
4) "Brush your teeth!" My toddler spit all over the bathroom mirror, which I had just cleaned. I tossed the hand towel at his head and just walked away.
5) Mom. Mom. MOM. MOM! MOM!!
"Stop calling me that! I changed my name!"
You did?
"Yup. And I'm running away."

I'm looking at these and wondering why my husband and children love me. Hmmm... I might want to work on becoming more patient.

Scout is Baptized

From left to right: My dad, mom, Aaron's grandma, my step-dad, Aaron's mom, me, Eliana, Evan, Aaron, Aaron's dad, Aaron's brother

Eliana was baptized on Sunday! A beautiful service for our beautiful daughter.
I feel good about my promise to God, to raise Eliana to know Him.
And that Christening gown?
Made by my great-great aunt.
My grandfather was baptized in it.
My mom, aunt, uncle, myself, my brother, and my son were all baptized in it.
And now Eliana's been baptized in the same gown.

My Brother Jon

Disney World -- March 2004

I know this photo was taken quite some time ago. (I was quite thin and younger looking compared to now.)
I was browsing through my photos and found this one, which has always been a favorite.
This is my brother Jonathan.
He has Cerebral Palsey.
I know he looks checked out in this photo, but I promise he almost always has a smile on his face.
I think he was yelling at whoever was taking the photo to hurry up and take the photo already!

My brother's CP was hard on me when we were growing up.
For a long time, I didn't understand why Jon didn't or wouldn't do the things that the rest of us did.
I remember a little wooden children's table and chair set in our bedroom.
(I must have been about five or six.)
I kept putting Jonathan in a chair so that he could sit at the table and have a tea party with us.
He must have been about two then. Old enough that I knew he should be able to play with us but light enough that I could pick him up.
Jon kept falling out of the chair, tipping sideways and hitting his head on the floor.
I kept picking him up and putting him back in the chair.
When my step-mom came in and discovered what I was doing, I got a good putch on the hinder and a talking to. "Don't you know he can't hold himself up?" I remember her yelling at me.
That was the moment it finally clicked for me.

For several years, I understood Jon's physical limitations but not his mental.
I talked to him like he was any other kid.
I made my mom show him the pictures and words in books. "How is he going to learn to read if you don't show him the pages?" my mom recalls me saying.

Can you imagine the pain I felt when I heard him crying, asking his mom why he couldn't come out and play with the rest of us kids?
I stayed inside with him one time. He asked me why he wasn't like the other kids.
He asked me why no one wanted to play with him.
He asked why he couldn't walk or run.
He told me he was going to walk someday.

When I got to high school, Jon was my buddy.
I helped with bathing, bathroom, feeding, general care.
I took him to movies or out for ice cream or just a cruise in the car.
I let him brush my hair and we would snuggle and just talk.
We were very close at one point.

I moved away for my senior year of high school, and that's when our relationship really started to dissolve.
My brother Mike sort of took up my role.
Jon seemed to think I had abandoned him.
When Mike moved out, my sister Bethany took up the role.

Now Jon lives in a group home.
He has a job.
He has friends.
He goes shopping, out to eat, enjoys a good beer from time to time, loves bowling.
But he seems acutely aware of how different he is. He seems to get depressed from time to time.

Yesterday, my brother turned 24.
Pretty good for a kid whom the doctor's told my step-mom wouldn't live through the night.
He was three months premature in 1987.

Linny and Aaron Swinging by a Tree, Smiling so Very Happily!

10/18/11

This photo was taken nearly three years ago.
Not much has changed.
Aaron's parents still have that swing in their front yard.
My husband is still in desperate need of a hair cut.
I still have those shoes. (I actually wore them with my wedding dress last October.)

One thing has changed.
See those smiles?
We don't smile like that anymore.
My face is pure joy. I can barely contain myself.
My husband's face is similar.

This was at the beginning of our relationship.
Aaron's mother was actually relieved that we had started dating. She had to document it.

Is the change in our smiles good or bad?
I'm not quite sure.
I've been reflecting a lot about how much our lives have changed in the last three years.
It's bittersweet, really.
I miss the giddiness, the flutterbys in my tummy, the thrill of a new relationship.
I thought he'd never stop looking at me like I was new.
We were so excited to get to be with each other.

Like all relationships, the newness wears off.
I don't get all school-girly when I think of him.
All those feeling have been replaced by a much deeper and richer love.
Aaron is my family now. We're a team. He's my best friend.
I can't live without him.
But we also don't appreciate each other the way we should.
There's far too much bickering over the kids, housework, getting out of the door on time.

Our one year anniversary is coming around the corner. It's less than two weeks away.
I've been trying to figure out what to plan.
I don't think he's going to plan anything, and I'm determined to have a fantastic time.
I've decided to be proactive--don't let myself be disappointed if I find something and plan it myself.
Dracula dinner theater?
Wine tasting in Door County?
A trip to Wisconsin Dells?
Hmmm... decisions, decisions.

Day 02 -- 30 Day Photo Challenge

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

My brother has been there for every wonderful and terrible thing I've been through or done. And he still loves me. I love my brother and am proud of him. I can honestly say he has been the person I've been the closest with the longest.

30 Day Photo Challenge -- Day 01

I'm doing the 30 Day Photo challenge for a few reasons.
1) It looks kind of fun!
2) Look at how depressing this blog has gotten. UGH!
3) I don't always know what to blog about and this is a guaranteed filler for 30 days!

Day 01 -- A photo of myself with 10 facts

1) I love Duluth. I would live there if it didn't mean leaving the Kiel/Cleveland area.
2) Despite my objections to overly loud music around my children, there's nothing I love more than blowing the speakers up in the living room and listening to vinyl.
3) I make the conscious decision to be happy.
4) I'm secretly embarassed that I'm not a girly-girl--that I don't know how to use make up, style my hair or dress.
5) I hate being referred to as "wife" or "wifey". HATE IT! I know that becoming a wife and mother has contributed to who I am, but I feel that the term is degrading. It has a negative connotation, like I should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, and obeying my husband's every order. That's not what God intended for marriage, and I think a lot of people who use that term towards me don't understand that.
6) I don't feel like anyone really knows me. But I think I feel that way because I don't know me. My own feelings often surprise me.
7) I don't like being gluten-free. I miss drinking Honey Weiss.
8) I embarass myself on a daily basis. Ridiculous things. Like walking into a classroom and getting my bag stuck on the door and then getting physically pulled back. Or tripping over a rug. Or pushing against a door that pulls open. It's borderline slap-stick.
9) I am incapable of b.s. I like to be a straight-shooter. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. It's one of my greatest flaws.
10) My celebrity crushes include Rivers Cuomo, Kevin James, Craig T. Nelson, Claudio Sanchez, and John Nolan. The funniest part is that each of these men in some way remind me of Aaron.

Eliana and Evan -- {pretty, happy, funny, real} edition

If you read my previous posts, you'll find that it hasn't been so happy for me lately, but I'm still finding contentment in my life. The documentation to prove it:

Eliana is turning into a very {pretty} and {happy} baby. Don't you think?

We're big Packers fans in this house. Can you tell?

The joy of being a big brother! Evan is always {happy} to spend time with his baby sister. I think it's {funny} when he lays on the floor next to her and mimicks her sounds and motions and she just stares at him.

Evan loves to hang out with Ellie as she grows and develops into a personality!

Little Eliana has found her smile. She's such a {pretty} and {funny} little thing when she smiles! Her red hair cracks me up! No matter how many generations pass, all the children in my family seem to get that red hair from the Irish stable boy my Swedish great-great grandmother ran away with!

I think Ellie was flirting with her daddy for this picture!

Window washing is such a {real} chore that seems to need to be done everyday. Of course it isn't done everyday. There just aren't enough hours. But the dusting and window washing are a bit of a {happy} time when my sweet little Evan pitches in! Auntie Leila is right--children really can help with the chores if we direct them! And Evan loves the praise I give him for being my "big helper"!

My big helper washes the hand smudges he put on the window. I think they're sweet, but alas! The nanny and therapists do not.